While I was exploring the alleyways and back-doors of the center of Amherst, looking for graffiti to snap my camera at, I found a lot of neglected objects. Take this little red chair for example, which seems to only ever be occupied by icicles:

That little red chair has grown on me. In fact, I have seriously considered going back and taking it home, so that I can sit on it everyday.
Besides motivating me to contemplate stealing, thinking about that forgotten little chair has made me ponder forgotten things in general, which has led me to begin a careful study of the Lost & Found. I find lost and forgotten things to be intriguing. For example, the things you find lost in one place will always be very different than the things you find lost in another place. It goes without saying that you will always find lost baseballs around the outskirts of a baseball field, and lonely mittens in melting snowbanks, and mascara tubes on the sinks of public bathrooms. You are more likely to find lost Dolce & Gabbana sunglasses under a table in an upscale Cafe than you are to find those dollar store reading glasses that snap like fingers beneath the same table.
So, I have decided to embark on an Amherst-wide search of Lost & Found things. I plan to visit as many places as I can looking for lost and found objects. Here is the first place I've gone:
The Amherst Coffee Lost & Found
Amherst Coffee – bringing Coffee, Tea, Wine, and Spirits to the Amherst elites – is to Rao's Coffee as Amherst Books is to Raven Books. The caffeine-fueled lively jostle of Rao's seems like a party in a box of animal crackers in comparison to the calm atmosphere in Amherst Coffee. Don't let the promise of calm fool you though – your satisfaction depends on the type of calm you're looking for. Amherst Coffee's straight-black-trimmed interior and exterior architecture is neat enough to give those of us with even the worse case of OCD a degree of mental peace. On any given day, you can find intellectuals equipped with MacBooks, a taste for coffee shop jazz, and the money to spend on double mocha lattes with espresso to fuel their furious typing.
I've gone to Amherst Coffee on Thursday nights to watch jazz bands play. It's always packed; it's a place to be. But on any given early Tuesday afternoon, you might find some middle-aged men with MacBooks, a few pairs of college age girls gossiping about a philosophy class, and the usual lone customers sitting at the windows – their MacBooks perched beneath their punching fingers, their steaming drinks in dangerously close range.
After taking all of this in, I walked up to the counter, and said,“Hi, do you guys have a lost and found?”
“What'd you lose?”
“Nothing, I just want to write down whatever's in it”
(Puzzled look)
“For a project.”
“Oh, follow me.”
They keep their lost and found in a locker in the back. I hunkered down on an upturned milk-crate and dug in. Here is what I found:
One magnivision glasses case (strong +2.50)
One pair of Targee prescription glasses
One pair of Black old person solar shield glasses
One Black Kangol hat (size medium)
One set of keys with a gym membership attached to the ring
One traffic-stopping-orange “State of Nine” baseball cap
One pair of black leather gloves
One long homemade olive and muave checked scarf
One dirty white t-shirt with the name “Bob” scribbled across the front with black permanent marker (size small)
One worn and dirty-blue t-shirt
One charcoal lambswool gap scarf complete with a moth hole
One black lambswool Nautica scarf with tassels
One nameless brown alpaca scarf with tassels (very nice)
One gray bucket hat by “The Hats Company by Filippo Catarzi” made in Italy
One ugly light blue white striped ski cap with the name “mauri” scrawled on the tag
One children's book written in Hebrew and printed in Israel, with the picture of a woman painting hip flower designs on a tractor
One pair of Cruella Devil-esque red kid gloves with black fuzzy fringe
One pair of black fleece EMS convertible gloves complete with flip-open thumb
One pair each of navy blue Nike, and of black kid's gloves
One left-hand brown leather sherpa kids mitten
One left-hand long light green glove
One large right-hand Mountain Hardwear fleece glove
One right-hand black leather glove, fleece lined, very nice
One tiny right-hand Old Navy navy blue toddler mitten, with a pair of penned paper eyes taped on to the top of them (scary)
One very large thick navy blue thinsulate glove, right-hand.
What do these lost items tell me about Amherst Coffee?
More customers consider their right hands to be more important than their left hands.
The Amherst Coffee children enjoy eccentric clothing, as well as books in other languages.
A dirty man named Bob likes to go to Amherst Coffee.
Customers who go to Amherst coffee like fancy scarfs, but not enough to remember them on the way out.
Customers in Amherst Coffee who lose their glasses are generally relatively old, and need those glasses that block out all traces of sunlight.